An important communication from the CEO of UK PLC  

Dear Shareholder, I told you so. I always knew the Conco offer to cut the deficit and stop borrowing and printing so much would not take off. The latest news of the polling for the Board elections is wonderful for your Board and for Uk PLC. We have been thinking about how we can reinforce our offer and consolidate our position in the marketplace. Some favour introducing a GOF GAF. It’s a bit like a BOGOF (Buy One Get One Free) only more generous – Get One Free, Get Another Free. Why bother wasting time and money collecting cash from people for the first one, when we could simply give away two for the price of none? It should be knock out popular. Others say let’s just helicopter in some cash and drop it over the most deserving parts of the country which will be participating sensibly in the UK wide Board elections. It would...